The big money question: Who pays for what in a wedding?

If you’re just starting to plan your wedding, this is probably one of the top questions on your mind: “Who is supposed to pay for the wedding?” While there is a traditional breakdown of who pays for what, but assigning someone to pay for a particular line-item in your wedding isn’t practical. Here’s why:

Even if you’re not paying for your wedding yourselves, the budget should be largely based on your personal wedding priorities. If you want to spend more in one category than the paying party had intended to gift, you either have to make it awkward by asking for more money or subsidizing the contribution, or forgo a particular vendor you really have your heart set on (I’ve personally been there and it is my biggest wedding regret).

Here’s what we suggest doing instead:

FIRST have a conversation with your partner about your financial comfort zone. My suggestion is to set the total max number you’re comfortable spending together, MINUS a 10%-15% contingency.
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Second: Talk with your families individually about how much and IF they would like to contribute financially. This amount shouldn’t be shared with anyone else – it’s not a competition or something that has to be “fair” – it’s simply the amount they want to gift to you.

Third: Talk with your planner about the total amount you have available, along with your overall vision for the wedding (intimate but lavish, large guest count but more casual, any high-priorities, etc.). This may be where your planner has a coming-to-Jesus talk with you about budget vs. vision vs. guest count, but knowing the financial big-picture means you can allocate each dollar based on what’s important to you, rather than on what someone told you you had to spend.

Still want to designate specific budget line-items to everyone who is contributing? Here is a breakdown of “traditional” expenses and responsibilities:

Bride’s Family:

• Pre-wedding parties, such as the engagement party or bridal shower
• Bridal gown, alterations, and accessories
• Wedding planner or coordinator
• Stationery
• Ceremony & reception venues
• Catering
• Photography and videography
• Transportation for the bride’s side of the wedding party
• Flowers, décor, production
• Cake
• Morning-after brunch

Groom’s Family

• Rehearsal dinner & associated costs
• Bride’s bouquet, boutonnieres, and corsages (AKA, “personal flowers”)
• Transportation and accommodation for groomsmen
• Bar & Alcohol
• DJ or band
• Honeymoon

Bride:

• Groom’s wedding band
• Wedding gifts for the groom, parents, and bride’s side of the wedding party
• Hair and makeup (for just the bride or all female wedding party attendants)

Groom:

• Engagement ring and wedding band for the bride
• Marriage license and officiant fee
• Groom’s attire
• Wedding gifts for the bride, parents, and groom’s side of the wedding party
• Getaway car
• Honeymoon (if not covered by the groom’s family)

We hope this guide starts you off on the right foot during these early stages of planning! Need more guidance? Schedule a complimentary consultation to learn more about how we can help you through your engagement!

Haylee